First of all, I want to share a popular Bible verse that I have clung to recently and use it as a reminder that God has plans for me even though I fail Him daily:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
As most of you know, we welcomed our third son to our family in December.
We have now been a family of five for three months now and enjoy every day of it!
It wasn’t always like that…
The first week we had our new baby home was full of meals being brought in, extra hands to help out with our other two children, and half days at grandma’s house. We were totally blessed by our friends and family!
Then, Joel had to go back to work, and there I was, now a mom of three little boys.
Our oldest son had been through a transition when we had our second son. Our second son had never been through the process of having a sibling join the family. Needless to say, it was most rough on him. He was now a middle child and didn’t understand why he wasn’t the baby anymore.
Thankfully, he has his older brother to play with and entertain, but he still feels left out sometimes.
I failed early on with my time management and true to my oldest’s wise words from a previous post, I “was spending more time with the baby than with him and his brother”. See that post here.
The very thing I had sworn to myself NOT to do, I was doing. I didn’t see it right away and beat myself up about now, but I was so focused on the new baby, I forgot to be mom to my other two babies.
I guess I kind of justified it by telling myself that this baby was quite possibly our last baby and I wanted to enjoy every moment about it.
Then something else occurred to me…
My partner, my beloved, my friend. The one who stood by me through the whole pregnancy was now being neglected because I was being selfish with my time focusing on the baby. It sounds silly now, but babies have a funny way of driving a wedge between you and your husband; not intentionally, it just happens.
Just when you think you had everything figured out and feel great about where you are at as a family, then you start your daily routines again… except, now you have to get creative and accommodate a baby.
Praise the Lord, we have fallen into a routine.
Yes, it involves much multitasking, but it works for us.
It’s been a learning experience, but I am thankful that God has allowed me to become a mom of three. Yes, it’s challenging, yes it tries my patience, but it’s also expanded my capacity to love and extend grace.
I am still working on my time management and probably will be for an extended amount of time, but I would not change where I am in life at all.
2 Corinthians 4:15 (NIV)
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.”
So, what am I doing to make life not so rough these days?
I made a quick list:
- I make sure to spend even amounts of time with both of my older boys. We play video games, read stories, go for short walks, anything that involves just them and me.
- I allow them to help me when I really need it. They are always eager to help in any way they can.
- For Joel and I, we still have our weekly date night. Sometimes we take baby with, other times, we don’t. We also try to put baby to bed and stay up talking and catching up.
- I still call on my mom to help me out when I need to run some quick errands. It’s a lot easier to have her sit with the boys than having to take them with when I just need to run in to a few places quickly.
- I make sure to have some “me time”. I don’t always get my Bible reading done each day, and I am trying to get better about that. I feel better when I can have some quiet time and refocus.
- I take my multivitamins daily. This had helped increase my energy and I am not as irritable as I was while I was pregnant.
- I also extend grace. I know I’m not perfect and neither are my kids or husband.
- I multitask when doing home school with my older boys. This is mostly me nursing the baby while they work on school work sitting nearby o the couch or floor. This has helped a lot and we have been able to get caught up from taking six weeks off for my “maternity leave”.
That’s all for this round! I hope someone finds value from this post.
Just know that you are not alone in this journey and it will get better if you’re struggling after the arrival of a new baby.