Jaileigh Speaks

Marriage and Family Matters

Staying Intimate When You’re Miles Apart

Staying intimate when you and your sweetie are miles part can really be tough on your relationship.

There could be several different reasons for the distance, but most commonly could be: jobs, military deployment, or even prison sentences.

This is a hard post for me because, thankfully, I have not been away from Joel for more than 1 week at a time.

Recently, I was asked this question, “How do I remain intimate with my wife when I am so far away?”

Hmm. Good question. BUT, it caused me to do some serious research and self-examination. I put myself in their situation and came up with a few things that would help with intimacy when you’re not together.

1. Trust God. Seriously, If you’re a believer, great. Cling to your faith and keep growing closer to your Heavenly Father. If you aren’t a believer, start believing. When you are alone in a new place with or without people you may know a little bit about, God is always there and always willing to listen. He wants to hear from you on a daily basis.

2. Read your Bible daily. Staying in The Word is going to help you grow. Reading about marriage and relationships is going to help you grow too as a lover. There are a bunch of places in the Bible where it talks about marriage: what to do, what not to do, good stuff.

3. Surround yourself with other believers. Being around other believers will keep you accountable. It will also challenge you to keep growing. It also allows you to talk about your struggles with other believers. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. That’s how you learn. That’s how you grow!

4. Communicate what you’re learning. Speak to your spouse over the phone (when possible, depending on your circumstance), write them a letter and tell them what you’re learning. Communication is a big component in a relationship.

5. Go visit them. When you are apart, nothing beats a sweet reunion. If you are able to visit your spouse, DO IT. It’s obvious that you should be visiting when you have time or they should be visiting when they have time. Use the time during your visit to talk and catch up with each other.

6. Write love letters to your sweetie. Writing a love letter to reaffirm your feelings is the best way to keep their spirits up while you are away. When you aren’t always together it’s hard to keep the negative thoughts and feelings at bay. Reassure them that they are still the only “one” in their life.

I hope that this helps at least one person out there. I am not in any of these situations, but I pray that you cling to God and use these ideas to stay intimate while your spouse or sweetie is away.

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