Jaileigh Speaks

Marriage and Family Matters

#4 Be Intimate



Let that word soak in for a bit…

What comes to mind when you think of intimacy? (…sex…?)

Did you think of something different? If you did, good for you!

Intimacy is about more than sex! Yes, sex is great and God designed it for couples to enjoy in marriage, but we can be intimate in other ways too! I’m done talking about sex now ;).

Intimacy is being close or having a sense of closeness. What does intimacy look like in your marriage? Does your husband hold you hand? Do you hug or plant a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek when he comes home from work? Do you show public displays of affection in front of your kids (hugging, kissing, holding hands, maybe a butt grab here and there)? Do you sit close to each other when sitting in your living room? Do you cuddle on your couch together? Does he stroke your hair when you sit in his lap? Does he put his arm around you when you are sitting in a restaurant with friends?

Anyone seeing a trend here? Guess what? Yes! There’s more!

When was the last time you sat down with your spouse and gave them fifteen minutes of your undivided attention? Sitting and talking with your husband for a small amount of time builds intimacy. This shows him that you care and is a great way to be intimate. How about going out to the garage one evening when he’s out working on a car or truck? Let the kids come out and ride bikes or play nearby. Pull up his creeper (the thing on wheels that allows him to slide under the car or truck) and talk to him while he works. Hand him tools. Fetch supplies he needs to get the job done (maybe even, a little faster than he expected). I honestly don’t like spending time out in the heat in the summer time in a garage that does not have any windows or air flow, but I do it to spend time with Mechanic. Guess what? He loves it when I come out and “help” him when he doesn’t ask me to. I don’t know what tool he is asking for half the time, but he gets a good laugh out of my¬†confusion.

Remember my #1 practice for marriage? PRAY TOGETHER. Guess what? It builds intimacy too.

Spending time together is going to build your intimacy. You will feel a difference in your marriage. You will feel closer. Here’s your challenge: Go spend time in the “man cave” with him. Get a babysitter or recruit grandma and go ride a few rounds in the combine. Play a game or two on the Xbox (PlayStation, whichever you prefer). Get in your man’s element and just be there. Watch him do whatever he enjoys doing. He will enjoy you being close to him. He will also appreciate your effort in “trying” to be interested in what he does in his spare time. Find creative ways to be intimate with your man.

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